Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there! Especially mine! I love you, mom!

Well, you all must be wondering why I didn't post this entry yesterday, when it was Mother's Day, and instead I'm posting it today. I wanted to post the entry after collecting all my thoughts, feelings, and expressions that I experienced through out the day.

A mother is very important in a person's life. From the moment our life was conceived in her, we owe her so much. Not only did she give us life, but she gave us the courage and love to help us lead the wonderful life that we have. Mother, she has been there for you, from the beginning, literally. We started our life within her. And then, she brought us into this harsh world, telling us that she will protect us no matter what, and that she will always be there for us.

The word mother does not just refer to the biological mother, but also to the women who brought up other children as their own. And from the wonderful, culture rich country that we come from, India, the terms Amma, Ma, etc are used to call any girl or woman who shows the compassion that only a mother can, to someone unknown, or known. Hence, any girl or woman, who has expressed the sort of compassion to someone is regarded and respected as a mother, by the person receiving it. Remember the beggars outside the temples back in India? If we show them concern and give them some food or money or anything, they gratefully say, "Amma, you will live happily". Importantly, they call us Amma. Because someone showed them compassion. So, maybe, I would say, Mother, or as we know her in India, Matha, Ma, Amma, etc, is that embodiment of love and compassion without whom we would not have known what love means.

And now, to my dear mom, this is what I have to say to you...

Dear Amma,

When I was a little baby, you held me in your arms, and looked at me with all those dreams you had for me. You dreamt of making me a wonderful girl, and a wonderful woman and be proud of what I would turn out to be. When I first started to walk, you held my hands, and you were there to catch me when I fell, but you were so careful with me, that you didn't let me fall. When I was sleeping, you used to be awake, to make sure that I slept well.

When I started going to the Montessori School, in Dubai, you would pack my tiffin, dress me up, and send me off to school and after I returned, you would listen to all my nonsense. When I started dancing little steps looking at the dancers on TV, you and Appa joined me into a dance class, for which I am always grateful to you both. You used to take me along with you when you went to your Veena class, and I still remember falling asleep listening to the music, on your lap, while you rested the veena on the other lap. You never complained, although I'm sure your lap would have got numb several times.

You ended up having to go for work while I was still in school, maybe when I was in the 2nd grade, but even then, managed to spend time with me. I used to go to my friend's house after school, and you would call up to their house to make sure I came safely, and then come and pick me up to take me home. You instilled in me, slowly, the confidence and the courage to be independent, and responsible - you gave me my set of house keys so that I can come back home directly, after school. I was never afraid to be alone, when kids my age would've definitely been frightened. I used to call you once I reached home and you would call me every hour to make sure I was alright. And then, when you came home, you used to get me a toy sometimes, or a Barbie Doll. And then, in the evening, you would ask me to practice dance, and then say my prayers, and every night tell me stories before I went to sleep.

And then, when we came to India for good, in 1997, for my seventh grade, I asked you to stay at home, since you went to work earlier. And you agreed. It was a big sacrifice for you, but you never hesitated. I always complained that you left me and went to work, ignorant of the reason. Now I understand that you went to work that time, to make my future, which is present now, possible. You went to work along with Appa, to provide for my future - engineering degree, graduate studies in the US, dance etc. You have made so many sacrifices for me, to make me what I am today.

Every time you used to ask me to practice dance, I kept whining. But then, now I realize, that if you hadn't pushed me to practice, I wouldn't have been able to dance well now. I wouldn't have probably had the urge or interest in dance or the fine arts. During my arangetram practices, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have been able to dance. You kept pushing me to practice, and encouraged me to do better every time. Even now, during every dance program, you are always on your toes, nervous, and constantly praying that I should perform well, and nothing should go wrong. It was all those prayers that have made me the person I am today.

You slowly made me independent and gave me the strength to take care of myself, by taking me to classes by the PTC buses. And encouraged me to travel alone and stand on my own, so that I can take care of myself in future; maybe that is one reason why I am able to take care of myself while living here alone without you here in the US, as a student. You taught me to be self-sufficient and responsible.

You protected me from the world, and at the same time, exposed me to it in such a way that it would only make me a better person, and not hurt me. You gave me the freedom to make my own choices, and at all times, you have always stood by me, and supported me in all times of good and bad. Every time I got injured, it was you who felt the pain more.

More than everything, you have always been there for me and still continue to be there for me, in all walks of my life. What I am today, I owe it all completely to you.

And I will always hold you at the pedestal, and I will never ever let you down or let tears come out of your eyes. I am proud to be your daughter. You mean the world to me. All these years you took care of me. Now, it is time for me to take care of you. I will never let any one hurt you or Appa for that matter. And I shall work hard and become the wonderful dancer you want me to become, of course with the help of Vijay Anna, my dance master. And I shall make you proud by being the wonderful woman you always wanted me to be. But also remember, I am still your little darling daughter. :)

Love you always.

Your darling little daughter.

To all the wonderful women out there, Happy Mother's Day!

XOXO,

Purple Poise